The Non Required


Marriage: love, security …etc
July 12, 2007, 10:58 am
Filed under: Les Amours

I read from a credible source about marriage and it’s initial definition. It is a legal contract and said to be the basis of the family unit and traditionaly it involves:

1) a man who has the duty to provide a safe house, pay for necessities such as food and clothing, and live in the house.

2) a woman who has several obligations: maintaining a home, living in the home, having sexual relations with her husband, and rearing the couple’s children.

The word “traditionaly” is important here because people tend to do certain things by tradition. So if you do and specifically get married for this reason, be sure to fully comply with your role !

Maybe there are other motives for getting married like let’s say you’re in love, you want to start a family, the need to celebrate, or your ring finger is feeling naked. Are those pertinent arguments ? I mean, who needs marriage to celebrate ? Who needs marriage to start a family (you know it’s pretty simple…) ? And the ring…wasted money and the subject fuels so many uninteresting conversations: ” Isn’t it huuuge ?! ” Heyy, I thought that size didn’t matter…

Maybe people think they’ll enjoy a secure and committed relationship by tying the knot. But how in the world can a contract constrain you to stay commited ?

At work you sign a contract but nobody forbids you to look for another hot job. However if your employer has values and principles like hum let’s say “we attract and recruit the finest people in the world. We [promote] and [reward] people without regard to any difference unrelated to performance. We act on the conviction that [you] will always be our most important asset” then perhaps you will feel like staying. An employee might (or not) feel in concrete terms that this strategy is deployed hence stay (or not). Maybe it’s crap or maybe not, but your contract won’t give you the answer.


12 Comments so far
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Marriage (and so many things) are done for the wrong reasons much too often!

Made me think of this (source linked):

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you’re a great guy, but I don’t like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we’re not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we’re going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn’t work out, we’ll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

Feel free to substitute woman for man, etc.

Comment by Insane Mind

The quote is not quite related by the way – but I found both this article/post & the quote funny, and they use similar analogies.

Comment by Insane Mind

I’m a Man and i found this really hilarious and out of time:

“2) a woman who has several obligations: maintaining a home, living in the home, having sexual relations with her husband, and rearing the couple’s children”

Why did you add this sexual relationship as part of the wife’s obligation ? are you girls so desperate about your sexual life that it needs to become an obligation nowadays ? Cheers.

Comment by Nj

NJ: Out of curiosity, what makes you think the author of this blog is a woman/girl?

I’m not trying to be rude, just trying to understand. Because I have no idea who is the author(s) of this blog.

I personally think it’s written in a ironic tone (my take of course). Personally, I see everyday countless examples of marriages done purely based on tradition.
The factual example that I see repeated goes as follows (my own story writing):

Man marries woman where both families approve – because social status correspond to the ones they want, and because it guarantees the protection of the family heritage. Maybe they love each other, maybe they don’t. But they get married. Preferably by the age of 30.

Later on, man gets one or several mistresses because he only got married due to family pressure. Probably, woman gets lovers too.

It doesn’t always happen like that, but in the traditional marriages I see, 90% out 100, this is the case.

Also, often the men I’ve spoken too that cheat on their spouses seem to complain that they “don’t satisfy them anymore”.

Peace.

Comment by Insane Mind

May peace be with you all. As far as I know, the words used by the author are largely inspired by the fundational terms of the English Common Law. We can ‘safely’ assume that those texts were written by male individuals. We can also say with an almost 100% certainty that the Book of Genesis was used as basis for their reasoning. Quite interestingly, many thelogists agree that Genesis was written by Moses, a legendary being who very personally owned a pair of testicles.

Comment by tnr

Talking about marriage and sexuality, take a look a this interesting article:
http://primeur.madanight.com/post/150/591 … Is it true that we should have “A Better Life without God” ?

Comment by Nj

Nj, the article is indeed interesting: what I understand from its reading is that young malagasies used to benefit from religious help to stop their burning loins, but it turned out inefficient, I mean deadly. About the article: how pertinent are impressions written by convinced colonialists dating back to the 17th/19th century ?

On is it true that we have a “A Better Life without God”, if I were to answer based on the article and the hypothesis that it is consented, I would say yes. It’s choosing between great sex without God’s advice and deadly sex with his advice. I know what I’m choosing.

More seriously, I cannot answer for everyone. I personally think we don’t need religious influence in our lives and definitely don’t need to try and convert vulnerable people (like your own kids…that’s child endoctrination).

I’d suggest we move to the appropriate post for this discussion.

Peace

Comment by tnr

marriage is all you mean, safety, love. but it might be the worst thing you could suffering with love. loving you is so easy because you’re my all
when i say i love you, i’m engaged to make you feel good, and to stay what i amas you know me, so what is the matter if whe get officially or not? what’s the matter if we celebrate it or not? why not to start by offering a ring before the moon?
love is everything, not only safety, careless, sexual,but you might be readdy to all if you get married or not, do not loose your friend

Comment by maya

Maya, Love and marriage can mean so many different things to different people. But I like your conception of love. As I read, it is a combination of care, tenderness, total commitment, unlimited support, etc. That’s really great. And then you ask: why not…

‘Why not’ is one of the EWOs. EWO stands for Easy Way Out. The first one is ‘it depends’ and the second one is ‘why not.’ Didn’t you notice that ‘why not’ is the answer of those who cannot explain ‘why.’ Is it your case?

‘Why not start by offering a ring before the moon?’ Good one… Well. Given the level of difficulty, I would not lose time and shoot straight for the moon ! By the way, the truth is that I want to offer the moon, the world, the whole universe, and a lot more to my loved one. Not a ring !

In conclusion. The only two valid reasons for getting married are money and rights. A few good examples. In France, you get married, you pay less taxes, you save MONEY. In some other countries, you get married, your wife/husband work but you don’t, you get the RIGHT to be covered by your partner’s health insurance.

PS: Remember. Love is nowhere to be found in a contract, or a ring. You do not need a wedding to truly love someone until death do you part.

Comment by tnr

Love, Love..All you need is Love!

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Comment by www.grumpybrits.com

Do you mind if I quote a few of your blog posts as long as I provide credit and
sources back to your website: http://thenonrequired.
wordpress.com/2007/07/12/marriage-love-security-etc/.
I am going to aslo make certain to give you the proper anchor-text
hyperlink using your blog title: Marriage: love, security etc |
The Non Required. Please let me know if this is acceptable
with you. With thanks

Comment by Payday Loans




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